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THE HEART OF A SEMINARIAN

A Roman Catholic Seminarian opens up his Heart and shares the Faith he Loves.

About me

Blogger:
Name: Deacon Kevin Muniz
I am a Seminarian for the Diocese of Springfield in Illinois studying to become a Roman Catholic priest. I created the blogs “THE HEART OF A SEMINARIAN” and “JUST ASK THE QUESTION” for no other reason than to share the Faith that I love and continually learn more about the Will of God that I search. Thank you for visiting my blogs.

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Tuesday, 26 July 2005

CHRISTIAN HALL OF FAME

ST. JOACHIM AND ANN - Memorial

From an ancient tradition, going back to the second century, the parents of the Virgin Mary are known by the names of Joachim and Ann.  Devotion to Saint Ann is found in the sixth century in the East, and by the tenth century it was widespread in the West.  Saint Joachim was likewise honored, but at a more recent date. (LOH 1555, Vol. III)

 

REFLECTION

Just as we honor the Blessed Mother Mary for raising Jesus and teaching him how to pray, we also honor her parents for teaching her the faith that enabled Mary to be worthy to be the Mother of God, that enabled her to say “Yes” to God’s will, that enabled her to raise her Son, Jesus, and that enabled her have the strength and faith to stand at the foot of the cross as her Son was crucified.  To be a parent is a daunting task, but we (Godparents included) must prevail so that our children will be enabled in their faith to say “Let it be done to me according to your will” like Mary.

posted by: muniz at 21:17 | link | comments |
saints

Monday, 25 July 2005

EMERERGENCY ROOM (UPDATE)

It has been 4 days, since my awesome trip to the emergency room.  Since I know that many of you have been incredibly worried about my health that it kept you up throughout the night, I thought that I will give you an update on my well being.  After I left the emergency room with my 2-rated pain where the doctor basically just poked my stomach like the Pillsbury Doughboy and called it an “abdominal muscle strain”, they sent me out without giving me anything medication (which is fine, because I don’t need medication.  Why? You know why.) and their only advice was to not do my ab workout for 6 weeks.  The hardest part of this situation was facing the other seminarians.   They all knew that I went to the emergency room, but it was hard for them to understand the situation when I am walking around with little pain.  Actually, it started to hurt more later that day, so the best I felt all day was in the hospital (God has a funny sense of humor like that).  Anyway, the next day in class, people were still asking about it.  After telling a group of people that I did not agree with the diagnosis because I could flex my abs and stretch my abs without it hurting, one person said “Sir, put your shirt back on! My manager says that we can’t serve you your Big Mac without it on. ” –joking.  Actually, a seminarian said “My friend had the exact situation where he was hurt in the same place.  He went to the hospital and they could not find anything.  And a couple days later, his appendix burst.” – seriously.  I told him “Thanks! That will help me sleep easily tonight.” (Thats really me in that picture.  Not the doughboy, the second one- joking)

Since then, I have felt great and guess what?  Yes, I started doing my ab workout again.  You might be thinking; what about your abdominal muscle strain?  Well, if you haven’t got the idea yet, I do NOT have an abdominal muscle strain.  I think for now on, I will tell people that I went to the Emergency Room because of a gunshot wound from a drive-by.  You might say “Kevin, but you don’t have a gunshot wound from a drive-by.”  Well, I don’t have an abdominal muscle strain from crunches, but that seems fine to tell everyone.  I want to remind you that the emergency room stories are my way of sharing the humor in my life. 

posted by: muniz at 21:06 | link | comments (2) |

FINDING HUMOR IN EVERYDAY LIFE

Since writing the stories on my experience in the emergency room, people have asked me if I really have these thoughts during these situations (i.e. the thoughts when I was lying on the floor).  Truthfully, I did have those thoughts.  Even more so, everywhere in that story that you laughed; I also laughed when I was going through it.  Even though I was in a lot of pain, it was still funny.  I have always tried to live my life with a smile, because why would I not want happiness in my life.  Just as easy as you can find hardship and despair in your day, you can also find the things that make you smile. 

 

Here is my main point: We are all children of a God who wants to give us an abundant amount of happiness in our lives.  But it is up to us if we will allow God to do give us this happiness.  All it takes is to just allow yourself to put your life in God’s hands; in His hands put all your hurts, worries, and fears.  See, I find joy in every part of my day, because my source of this joy is Christ.  Understand, if he is with you, then what do you need to worry about.  You are in God’s hands.  This doesn’t mean that all your problems will go away; it does not mean that this ride won’t have bumps. But if you are willing to come along, you sure will find the joy and peace along the journey.  Even so much, that you might even smile when you are laying on the floor with an alledged abdominal muscle strain.  When you open your heart to this amazing well of joy, you might even be able to understand why the martyrs were willing to die for this faith and even be able to understand how they could find joy in this pain. 

 

Matthew 6:25-34   25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?  26 Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?  27 Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?  28 Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.  29 But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.  30 If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?  31 So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?'  32 All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  33 But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.  34 Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.

posted by: muniz at 21:05 | link | comments |

Sunday, 24 July 2005

TOP 5 BLOG POSTINGS OF THE WEEK

Here are the top 5 blog postings (that I read) that I either found interesting or entertaining.

1) In many blogs on the web, you see a lot of people spending their times bashing the bad bishops in the Church, I want give attention to a posting by The Curt Jester speaking positively about a bishop, Bishop Finn from the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph.   I wish more people could notice the good bishops that we have in our Church.

 

2)  In this post from Duc in Altum, he gives an interesting look at the rapture (being left behind) and Noah.

 

3)  Against a dictatorship of relativism posts about the new mid- season sitcom on NBC starring Jesus entitled  “A contemporary, cool Jesus comes to NBC”. (You will need to scroll down)

 

4) The nomination of Judge Roberts was not only political, it was awfully funny namely his son.  Check out this post by But I Digress… .

5) Last week, Holly at But I Digress…came on the list with a post on liturgical music and the cowbell, but now she is going after the tambourine.  I just think now she is just trying to make up instruments in Mass so that she can have the great honor of make the list again.

Web Plug for the Week:  Check out the Diocese of Springfield in Illinois ’ vocations website.

posted by: muniz at 14:03 | link | comments |

Friday, 22 July 2005

SUPREME COURT NOMINEE: JOHN G. ROBERTS, JR.

Last Tuesday, President Bush announced the nomination of John G. Roberts, Jr. for Supreme Court Justice.  My opinions on the nomination are pretty simple, so I have added links to other blogs and sites to read their views, too.

 

President Bush

Even though many can argue and complain about the decisions he has made in leading this country, the one thing I admire about him is his leadership.  I admire him, because he leads the way he feels is best for the country and he sticks to his guns.  Even if others disagree and he has to go alone, he will do what he feels is the right decision.  I cannot always say that I agree with him, but I admire a leader with a backbone and this was seen in his Supreme Court nomination.

 

When it seemed that everyone was telling to pick a moderate (pro-choice) woman or minority, he went against the grain and nominated a conservative white male.  This gives me the confidence in him that he will uphold his promise of defending life.

 

John G. Roberts

Will he be a judge to help overturn Roe v. Wade?  Time will tell, but I like the fact that he is Catholic.  Let us all pray that he is a faithful Catholic who holds the views of the Church on life.  Secondly, he was a clerk for Judge Rehnquist, who is an anti-abortion judge.  Lastly, his wife was a leader in the Washington D.C. chapter of Feminist for Life.  Hopefully, they hold the same family and life values.  In conclusion, time will tell what the fruit of this decision will be, but as the facts stand, I am pleased with President Bush’s decision.  Let us continue to pray for the leadership of our country and the direction they lead us.

 

Links

FoxNews – This article gives information on the Robert’s possible pro-life stance.

Priest for Life - Fr. Frank Pavone’s response on the nomination.

Priests for Life - Nation Right to Life on Judge Roberts.

White around the Collar - This post on Wednesday entitled “Judge John G. Roberts” shares his views and a link for more information on Roberts.

Ego vos elegi - This post on Thursday is entitled “Sizing Up Mr. Roberts – and His Prospectives”.

The Curt Jester - Blog posting on the nomination with commentary.

posted by: muniz at 18:35 | link | comments |

Thursday, 21 July 2005

EMERGENCY ROOM  (Why? Because I am a Man)

In case anyone ever thought while reading this blog “Hmmm… I wonder if Kevin likes to go see the doctor.”  Today is your luck day, because I will give you the answer to the question that has kept you up all of those nights.  The truth of the matter is that I hate going to see the doctor for a diagnosis of a problem, because I never hear anything that I did not already figure out or I feel like a total wimp by being there.  Today’s experience was no different when this morning I was taken to the emergency room.

 

Two days ago, I started to feel pain/discomfort on the right side of my chest under my rib cage.  This pain eventually spread to the same spot on my back.  This was a nuisance, but I toughed it out.  Why? Because I am a man.  On Wednesday, I still felt the discomfort, but it did not bother me too bad.  The main discovery was that I felt the discomfort the most when I did my crunches (Ab workout).  On the ignorant male side of me, did this stop me from doing crunches this morning?  NO! Why? Because I am a man.  Actually, I did them because even though I felt the discomfort, it did not hurt at all.  Next on my daily schedule is my Holy Hour, since I felt the discomfort in my crunches and felt it a lot in Wednesday’s Holy Hour, I decided to take Ibuprofen.  This was no help, because ten minutes into my Holy Hour, I was hurting, but did I stop?  NO! Why? Because I am a man.  I instead decided to pray bent over looking at the ground, because sitting upright hurt too bad.  I also decided to pray a couple rosaries, because I needed help from Jesus and Mary to take away this pain.  On a spiritual note, I tried to concentrate on offering up my sufferings for people with medical problems and tried to let Jesus into the pain.  Bottom-line, Jesus and Mary did not help me at all with the pain.  I know it does not say it in the Bible, but I was pretty sure that people in Heaven woke-up at .  Again, I am not positive, but I always thought Heaven was a 24/7 type of establishment.  Anyway, after my Holy Hour I left the chapel to head to my room, when the pain increased and dropped me to my knees (not in the spiritual sense, but in the “Oh my God, this hurts really bad” sense.  Some one saw me fall and holding my chest and asked “Are you alright; do you want me to get someone?” And I replied “No, I will be alright.” Why? Because I am a man. 

 

Now I am hunched over in pain and barely got to my room, so what do I do next?  I think “I am going to go get some coffee”, because the next thing on my daily routine is drinking coffee and reading a book. Because God forbid if I get knocked off my routine, I thought getting coffee hunched over in pain is a viable option.  As I grabbed my mug, I realized two things.  First, it would be impossible for me to bring the coffee back to my room.  Secondly, I am in a lot of pain and I need help.  As I was attempting to leave my room to go get someone, I fall to knees a second time. (I just realized how similar my Thursday morning is to the Stations of the Cross.  Maybe not in the Suffering and Dying for our sins part, but more in the me falling a number of times part).  Anyway, I feel to my knees and this time I could not get up.  I eventually ended up lying prostrate on my floor not able to crawl or reach my door.  At this point, different thoughts run through my head.  First, I thought “My goodness, I need to clean my floor.  It is filthy.”  This did me no good, because it just caused me not to want to put my head down on the floor.  Second, I thought “Oh no, my underwear.”  Before I went to pray and even though I was in pain, I still set out my workout clothes for the afternoon and the top was my underwear.  This is not the best pair I have, hence it is a pair I wear to go workout (one of many).  You may think it is weird to think this, but it goes perfectly in line with the mindset of mothers that if you can hit by a car, you better have clean underwear on.  As a result of this thought, I knew I had to get up. Why? Because I am a man, who is worried about his underwear.

 

After a couple of minutes of lying on the ground, I finally got up and made it to the elevator to see the seminarian who was previously a doctor.  To my luck, he was in the shower, so I had to lie on the couch and wait for him to come out.  After waiting for 20 minutes, he came out and told me to go to the hospital.  The funny thing is that when I got up, the pain was not bad at all.  (I guess Jesus and Mary work on time delay.)  I told him that I felt better, but he insisted that I go due to that fact that I feel to the floor and could not get up.  So I went and hated it, because I was not really in any pain.  Do you know how embarrassing it is when the nurse asks you to rate your pain from 1 -10 and you have to say “Maybe a 2.”  There are people there with bones sticking out of their skin, bullet wounds to their leg, and a lady ready to give birth and they are waiting in line behind a guy with a 2-rated pain in the right side of his chest.  Actually, no one was waiting, but you get the idea how I felt about being there. 

 

In the end, the doctor said that I have a strained abdominal muscle (which connects to the rib cage) and for me not to do any crunches for 6 weeks.  I did all of that for a diagnosis that I came up with Wednesday.  Actually, I do not if I agree with that diagnosis, because it does not explain that pain in my back, the ineffectiveness of the Ibuprofen, the fact that the pain was lessened when I lie down, and the lack of a moment during my crunches when I felt that I strained it.  Who knows?  I guess it is back to my plan from the beginning; do your normal thing and wait for it to go away. Why? Because I am a man.

 

posted by: muniz at 16:16 | link | comments (4) |

Wednesday, 20 July 2005

PASSIVE CHRISTIANITY

One thing I noticed with people who try to be strong Christians, especially with seminarians, is that there is always a sense of passiveness with them.  This is especially true when it comes to confronting another person.  Somehow people get the impression that to not confront someone is the most charitable thing to do.  Actually, it is a horrible thing to do.  It does not help the other person to get better and it definitely does not make your life any better.  Yes, there is a difference between charitable and uncharitable confrontation and I will try to distinguish the differences.

Heart of Jesus

As followers of Christ, we should be constantly striving towards receiving the Heart of Jesus.  So what does this mean?  Yes, it means that we should love one another like Christ, but what does that mean?  It means that we are to give for the good of others, which could mean to want to help people feel the love of God, increase the joy in their life, or even to know that you truly care about them.  So if you want to have the Heart of Christ, then confronting people is part of what it means to be a Christians.

Warnings

This is hard, because there are a number of areas that you need to watch out for such as:

·        You must make sure that you are not confronting them because they made you upset or because you want something from them.  The reason for confronting is never about you; it is about caring for them.  Ask yourself this question: Am I confronting them for their own good and because I care for them?  If there is any reason you are doing it because of personal reasons, then it is wrong.

·        You must make sure that you are not confronting them on an assumption.  If so, then begin with a question.  For example, if someone does not show up to help you do work, then you should not confront them by saying “You acted very irresponsibly and selfishly by not showing up.”  This would be an assumption if you did not know the reason for them not showing up.  Instead ask them “why” politely by saying “You were not there this morning; is everything ok?”  If their reason is wrong, then you can confront them.

·        Lastly, you must make sure that your emotions are proper (make sure you are well informed, not tired, not crabby, etc.).

Excuses

The reason that most people do not confront is that either:

·        They do not want a confrontation.  If this is the case, then will you stand up to your kids if they misbehave or will you avoid conflict?  The reason that you would confront your kids is because you care about their upbringing and yes because they are your responsibility, too.  But it is also our responsibility as Christians to help each other and hold each other accountable to be the presence of Christ to the world.

·        They might feel like a hypocrite.  This would only be true, if you are unwilling to listen to concerns about yourself.  If they counter a concern you had of them by sharing one with you, then you should take it.  That would only show that both people need to improve and as a result, you both could possibly become closer to Christ.

·        Lastly, they might not know how to exactly handle the situation.  This is the only good reason not to confront.  If you do not know how to handle it, then don’t take the risk but you still need to pray about it and try to understand the situation and the other person.

Conclusion

If you truly cared about them, then you would confront people.  And if you truly care about your heart transforming into the Heart of Christ, then you would willing accept anything that others would confront you about.  Confrontation is not about arguing or yelling; it is to charitably talk to another person about your concerns for them.  Just as friends are willing to share and receive concerns, so should Christians.  In the end, I rather people not like me and know that I care about them, than for people to like me and not show people I care for them.  Am I wrong?  Do you have situations that you have concerns for another?   

 

posted by: muniz at 15:15 | link | comments (1) |

Tuesday, 19 July 2005

NEWS AND NOTES

 

·        Added Links This weekend I spent sometime putting up links to other sites.  These are all separated into categories.  Because my blog separates them alphabetically, I put a letter in front to keep the sections together.

 

·        New Blog   If you click on the section titles such as “LAITY” or “RESOURCES”, then it will take you to a new blog that I set up for more addition links.   This is so my links on this blog do not become a huge list.  The new blog will be continued to be added too as time goes on. 

 

·        New References Also, I found some cool new links for the reference section.  There is links to the daily Mass Readings, the saints of the day, and also the Liturgy of the Hours prayers.

 

·        Update on Katlynn Allee She is the 9 month old baby who needs to reach 22 lbs to receive a much needed kidney transplant.  This week, she just reached 20 lbs, which took her about 3-4 weeks to add that lastest pound, so keep her in your prayers.

 

·        Next Sunday’s scripture.  Just click it.

 

What else?  Any questions or comments?

posted by: muniz at 17:36 | link | comments |

Sunday, 17 July 2005

TOP 5 BLOG POSTINGS OF THE WEEK

Here are the top 5 blog postings (that I read) that I either found interesting or entertaining.

1) In regards to liturgy, I have heard the debate if drums should be allowed in liturgical music, but I never anyone ever say “I think we need more COWBELL” Check out this post by But I Digress… and watch the clip too.

 

2) This post by Thoughts of a Midget  always makes me laugh. I would like to have it as a poster just so I can read it all the time when I am having a bad day. Maybe it is just funny to me, but I like it.

3) Could there be a moral way to do embryonic stem cell research?  Against a dictatorship of relativism shows that there might be in his post on June 28 entitled “A moral way to do embryonic stem cell research?”  It also has a link to the article, too. You will need to scroll down a while for this.

4) This week the New Harry Potter book came out.  As you all know, I am not much on reading fiction books, so here are some commentaries on Harry Potter and Catholicism by  But I Digress…, Duc in Altum, and The Ratzinger Fan Club.

5) Ego vos elegi  writes an interesting commentary on the Supreme Court vacancy in his post on July 13 entitled “Double Standard”.

The Ridiculous Post of the Week:  Matthew 12:37 made this post on July 16.

Blog Plug for a good cause:  The Pope Blog’s author is a part of an organization to help end the suffering in Uganda .  To check his posting out, click here.

posted by: muniz at 12:16 | link | comments (6) |

Saturday, 16 July 2005

CONGRADS BISHOP KEVIN VANN – DIOCESE OF FORT WORTH

Bishop Kevin Vann was once a priest in the Diocese in Springfield in Illinois .  I had the privilege to learn from him last summer as he allowed me to stay with him last summer to gain some parish experience.  He is one of the best and it is no surprise to me that he has been given this honor and responsibility.  Our loss in Springfield is the gain of Fort Worth, TX .  His ordination to the episcopacy was last Wednesday on July 13, 2005.  Click here to see the ordination pictures.

PRAYER FOR BISHOP VANN

Loving God, as we gather in Your name, we ask You to send forth your Holy Spirit
To dwell in our brother Kevin, whom you have called to
Serve your Church in the Diocese of Fort Worth


Let Bishop Vann be a true follower of Christ and a
Worthy successor to the Apostles,
As priest, prophet, and pastor.

Give him strength to guide Your people in carrying out the Mission of Christ.
Fill him with love to unite us in
Faithful adherence to the gospel,
And compassionate service to the world.

May he shepherd Your people with wisdom and grace.
We ask this through Christ, our Lord.
AMEN

posted by: muniz at 09:55 | link | comments |

Thursday, 14 July 2005

SPIRITUAL RETREAT – FEAR OF ABANDONMENT

In my previous postings on the retreat, my prayer lead me from reacting annoyed to praying about God’s love for me (Father/Child Relationship) to feeling like God would not want to keep working with me due to my lack of effort (Coach God) to the beginning of uncovering the reason for my lack of effort (High School).  In high school, I started to read the Bible to prove wrong a youth group, but sadly my good friend would never come back to religion.  My good friend has become my biggest influence and my biggest inspiration in my spiritual life, because I never want to be the one that causes a person to fall away from Christ like that youth group did to my friend.  With this as motivation, I went into college facing the biggest challenges of my life. 

 

COLLEGE

In my first 2 years of college, I played baseball at a junior college.  Spiritually, these were a difficult 2 years, because I was the only player on my team that really went to church.  Plus, to make it worse, all of my close Christian friends went away to college.  I was all alone, but I was determined not to be the reason a person fell away from Christ.  It was hard, because my life was under a microscope.  Everything I did was followed with a Jesus comment or joke, but I made it through.  For my reward, I decided to go play baseball at a Christian college.  I thought that this would be great, because there will be other strong Christians attending that would challenge me in my relationship with God.  My excitement turned quickly to disappointment as my expectations fell flat.

 

To best describe my experience, imagine that you are going into a fight with you against 5 other people.   When you face this situation, it is difficult but you develop a plan to fight.  That was my experience at the junior college, but at the Christian college it was different.  It was like going into a fight with you and four guys against another 5 guys, so it is 5 against 5.  Before the fight begins, you think it will be a good fight, because it is 5 against 5. But when it begins, not only are you the only one fighting the 5 guys, but the 4 guys that you thought were fighting with you are now fighting against you too.  Try to imagine that and that is exactly how I felt.  This place had people worse than the youth group in high school and worse of all for the first time in my life it mattered that I was Catholic.  The bad thing was that I did not even know my Catholic faith.  I joked that at that college I was a just a step above a Jew to them.  I barely counted as a Christian, but they were the ones acting hypocritical.  This hurt so bad.  Mentally and spiritually, I was so tired and beaten up so badly.  I was still standing and fighting, but I was tittering and swaying badly.  I would walk the streets almost every night of this small town crying asking God “Why are you doing this to me?  I came here for You and now I am all alone again.”  To be alone is bad, but this was the worse kind of alone; I was alone in a crowd.  I would walk to the Catholic Church every time I walked just to see if by some chance a priest would be outside late at night.  I never talked to priest about things before, but I thought he was the only one that might understand.  He never was outside, so I would walk back.  I did this for awhile, until one night when I walked back I told God “Forget this, God.  I don’t want what they have.  I can’t continue to go on like this, feeling so much pain. I give up.”  I regret that night and wish my faith was stronger, but it was causing me so much pain.  I did not stop praying or stop having faith, but I stopped challenging myself.  I stopped trying so hard to be like Christ.  To stop trying was easier than dealing with the pain. 

 

AFTER COLLEGE

After that year, I transferred and started my road to spiritual recovery.  I became stronger in my faith and started to learn and fall in love with my Catholic faith.  As time went on, I eventually answered God’s call to enter into the seminary.  I never had been around too many priests before and I definitely had not met too many seminarians before I entered.  I do not know what I had expected to see, but I thought that I would find a bunch of guys feeling the way that I did; just wanting to reach every lost soul that God willed me to reach.  But sadly, I did not find this.  There are good guys at the seminary and there are good priests, but unfortunately the few bad and lazy ones are the ones that I always seem to notice.  There are some that are lazy, some who does not have an idea what it means to sacrifice or have patience; some have giant egos that put themselves on pedestals and some who rather follow their own agenda than follow the Catholic Church.  Again, there are more that will make great priests, but dealing with these other ones just floods back the pain and aggravation from my time in college.  This pain actually almost caused me to leave to seminary until I readjusted my focus on the reason I went in seminary in the first place and not on those few bad people.  Still, I live with the constant fear of being abandoned again.  Just as a friend of mine was beaten from behind by a man by unexpectedly and now has a constant fear when someone is behind him; I too have a fear with strong Christians especially with priests, seminarians, and ministers that they will hurt me, too. 

 

In prayer, one feeling is constant; God has a great task planned for me.  It is more than just becoming a priest, but I don’t know what it is.  What I have figured out so far is that I am being called to lead not like as a priest or a bishop (very, very highly unlikely), but it is more personal.  What I am talking about is God’s personal call to me.  Everything that happens in your life is allowed by God and when it happens even though you are so close to Him, then it is especially allowed for a reason.  Where is my greatest pain, what is my greatest fear?  The devil uses it to stir me away, but I know more than anything that God is calling me to directly walk into the very thing that causes me pain and fear.  I know what God wants me to do, but I am too scared to be abandoned again, to be disappointed, and hurt.  As a defense, I stay with the pack and stop challenging myself as much, so that I will not have worry about being abandoned. 

 

I am who I am and I am called to something greater.  I cannot just ignore the people that hurt me, but I must turn to them and lead.  I must challenge myself to be like Christ in my actions and in how I lead.  It is amazing when you go deeper into yourself in prayer.  Before I would have just ignored and moved past a little feeling of annoyance about God’s love for me, but now I went deeper and discovered the root problem in my spiritual life.  All of these postings on prayer came in my first hour of prayer.  Next, I will show a review of all the aspects of prayer with the example of my prayer.  As a challenge to you, search inside of yourself.  Are you willing to be a Saint and make a difference for God and others? If not, then why not?  What is holding you back and why?  What do you fear and why?  Go deeper into yourself and let transform you into what he desires for you.  Pray for me that I may do the same.

posted by: muniz at 17:13 | link | comments (1) |
prayer

Wednesday, 13 July 2005

SPIRITUAL RETREAT – HIGH SCHOOL

In my previous posting on the retreat, I wrote about how my view of God as one that is tired of working with me due to my constant failures caused be to purposely keep God out of some areas of my life.  In this prayer, I realized that I immediately needed to do allow God to enter into those areas that I kept Him from and even more importantly, I realized that the thought of God being tired of working with me was due to a feeling that I was not putting in the effort to succeed for God like I should.  As I went deeper into my life in prayer, it opened up an area of pain that I tried to protect.  This lack of effort turned out to be a defense for myself.  So what happened?  Why was I trying to protect myself?  The answer goes back a number of years ago.

 

HIGH SCHOOL

When I was a senior in high school, I started reading the Bible, because I wanted to see what God had to say about how I should live my life.  At that time, I went to a friend’s protestant youth group, because my parish did not have one.  At this youth group, the people were very hypocritical; they acted so good and holy at the church, but once they left, they were another person.  They would act so superior and better than everyone else and plus they had no concern for the feelings others and they used the Bible to justify themselves.  I could not stand this type of behavior and I was getting confused about how God wanted me to live.  As a result, I started reading the Bible to see for myself how God wanted me to live my life.  I read the Bible every night and wrote down the scriptures that I learned the most from and worked hard to follow Christ properly.  As I fell in love with Christ, I did it for Him, but at first I did it to prove that youth group wrong.  Sadly, my good friend who was also going to that youth group had the opposite reaction. She was so aggravated at their actions, that she stopped caring about being a “Christian”.  When I would ask her about him growing closer to God, she would tell me that she did not want too because she did not want to shove religion down people’s throats and act like she is better than others.  I tried to tell her that this wasn’t Christ; it was a hypocritical youth group.  But it made no difference and to this day she refuses to talk about religion.  She was a really good friend of mine and this stirred anger in me that produced a spark that became a flame.  I was going to show them by my life what it truly meant to be a Christian.  This began a process of opening my life to God’s will and the challenges to live my life more like Christ.  Jesus Christ is the ANSWER, but I simply wanted to be an EXAMPLE.  I was not going to let myself become the reason a person fell away from Christ like they did to my friend.

 

This challenge would eventually lead to greater challenges that would change me the rest of my life. The finaleof the story will come next.

posted by: muniz at 15:30 | link | comments |
prayer

Monday, 11 July 2005

NEWS AND NOTES

 

·        This past week, I received my 3,000th hit.  As a baseball fan, this is a huge milestone for me.  It only took me 7 months; look at Rafael Palmeiro of the Baltimore Orioles, it took him 19 years to reach 3,000 hits.  When I told my Dad, he asked me if this meant that he could stop hitting the “Refresh” button over and over to make it look like people actually visited this blog.  Thank you Dad and thank you everyone else who has visited in these past 7 months.

 

·        Last Friday, I went to an Omaha Royals game where they started an hour late because the Oklahoma Redhawks’ plane hadn’t landed yet at game time.  There was also a tribute to the Negro League by both teams wearing Negro League informs.  The funny thing is Oklahoma ’s gray jerseys did not match their white pants and their catcher’s jersey was too short to tuck in.  Overall, it was a great game with a Royals 7-6 victory and a nice fireworks display afterwards.

 

·        Saturday night, the Serrans (a lay group that promotes vocations) held a dinner for the seminarians with Omaha ’s Archbishop Curtiss.  It was a pleasant evening.  Before that, we were given a tour of their Cathedral.  If you are ever in Omaha , it is worth seeing.

 

·        Next Sunday’s scripture (Wisdom 12:13-19, Psalms 86:5-16, Romans 8:26-27, Matthew 13:24-43)

posted by: muniz at 16:39 | link | comments (2) |

Saturday, 09 July 2005

LINKS OF MY FAVORITE BLOGS

In the last 7 months since the beginning of this blog, I have had the privilege to come across some very good blogs which I truly enjoy reading.  In this entry, I will share with you the different blogs that I read.  What blogs do you think I should read?

 

PRIESTS

White around the Collar by Fr. Dana Christensen

He was just ordained to the priesthood for the Diocese of Sioux Falls, South Dakota last June.  He is a friend of mine from my seminary in St. Louis (Kenrick-Glennon Seminary) and is the one who helped me start this blog.

 

Servant and Steward by Fr. Daren Zehnle